Can jews be gay
Meet the rabbi who brings Orthodox lesbians together with gay men so they can have kids
Rabbi Arele Harel offers an unconventional solution for Orthodox Jewish gay men who desire to raise a conventional family: He fixes them up with Orthodox lesbians.
His matchmaking service, which has just gone online, has met criticism on opposite fronts.
Orthodox Jewish rabbis say Harel should be doing more to urge gays and lesbians to try to change their sexual orientation. Liberal religious gay groups see Harel's approach as a ploy to suppress homosexuality.
The matchmaking presents an array of challenges. The relationship may be loveless.
The partners may be tempted to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage. And the couple may need assistance to get pregnant. But Harel insists he just wants to help people have children, an vital commandment of Jewish law.
"The main aspiration here is parenthood," said Harel, 36, from his home in the Jewish West Bank settlement of Shilo. "It allows them to turn into parents in a way that is permitted by religious Jewish law and prevents a conflict between their religious world and their sexual world."
Most rabbis encourage gays to suppre
The sources of Judaism’s traditional position on homosexuality and gay issues are adv known. Two verses in Leviticus (Leviticus 18:23 and Leviticus 20:13) express unequivocal condemnation of male queer sex (although it is not clear whether what is referred to is intercourse or all sexual acts between men). According to Leviticus 20:13: “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a female, both of them include committed an abomination; they shall surely be position to death; their blood shall be upon them.”
READ: Putting The Prohibition Against Homosexuality in Context
As noticeable by its language, the biblical prohibition does not extend to female lesbian acts, though later commentators disapproved of lesbianism. One rabbinic source associates female homosexuality with the activities of the Egyptians and Canaanites, from which the Jews are supposed to abstain. Other authorities outline lesbianism as lewd or promiscuous, but do not consider it a capital offense. The Leviticus verses also imply that it is the act of homosexual sex, not the homosexual person, that is abhorred.
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“Are there gay Jews?”
I’ve often been asked: do you have problems as a Jew in Germany? And I have to say: I’ve actually had more negative experiences related to my homosexuality. I always wear the Magen David, the Star of David, around my neck. In the summer at the pool, it’s clearly observable. And I’ve never had problems with it. In Germany today, I can live my homosexuality as well as my faith, my Jewishness. So as a Jew I’ve made my peace with Germany.
I come from a secular family: we’re believers, and we’re part of a congregation, but we’re not strictly pious. Especially when you’re young, when you spend time partying and enjoying life, and then you go to synagogue, you can have difficulties. When I came out of the closet and started to live my homosexuality openly, I noticed that it disturbed people that I wasn’t as much a part of the congregation anymore. I no longer felt at home in my parents’ community, so I left. I have always felt like a bit of an alien there – like I didn’t really belong.
My secret life as a gay ultra-Orthodox Jew
Once you are pregnant that kid becomes both a hostage and your hostage taker. You are held hostage by your child. We are expected to contain eight or nine children and I kept getting pregnant. My feelings built up inside me until one day I was walking down the lane in a little cul-de-sac somewhere. There was so much noise in my head that I started saying "I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay!" out loud.
It made me sense like I had to do something about it. Eventually, I told my husband. I think he already knew I was gay but he'd convinced himself that it was just a latent longing rather than an integral part of my individuality.
We still don't understand what we are going to do. We possess children together and a family set-up that works. If my husband and I separate we would lose all of that. I think we would all lose something if we broke apart so I may well wait married.
I hope my family can stay together, although I don't realize what shape that would take. People have all kinds of arrangements. Rabbis have different ideas than some about how you should keep people together. In a case fond of mine, instead of trying to
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